Well, This Sucks
by kero-kero
Summary: After a deadly accident, Axel finds himself acting as a guardian over an abrasive blond kid named Roxas. And he accidentally opens the door to the undead. Oops. AkuRoku
1. Prologue

This will be shonen-ai. If you don't like that, there's a nifty little button on the top with an arrow pointing left. You should click it.

Summary: After a deadly accident, Axel finds himself acting as a guardian over an abrasive blond kid named Roxas. And he accidentally opens the door to the undead. Oops.

Pairings: Akuroku, Soriku

Disclaimer: D: seriously? I only wish I owned them. If I did, the game will be filled with boy love.

Well, this sucks

_Prologue_

He was not particularly good, nor was he particularly bad. There were times when he had done great deeds, and times when he experienced a lapse of judgment.

If one were to ask a close friend of his about his character, their remarks would vary.

The boy with a mullet-Mohawk had cheerfully piped, "Oh! He is such a great guy! He always helps me out!" The mullet boy paused for a moment. "…Though, there was that one time at a Christmas party…" Whatever was said afterwards was lost because of his mouth traveling more than 100 mph. But there was something about a flamethrower, a gerbil, and a CD by a group called Toy-Box.

A flowery boy with a love for anything pink had said, with a huff, "He's an inconsiderate jerk. He set my lovely, prize winning petunias on fire just to see if the fire would change color!" He had given another huff before cooing to his orchids.

In another account, a slate haired boy with a giant book had said, "…whatever." One would later find that the not-good-nor-bad boy had helped the slate haired boy get rid of some pent up…frustrations. One would also find that the slate haired boy had a thing for a certain mullet-Mohawk boy. So when not-good-nor-bad boy had caught whiff of this juicy piece of news, he had set up a perfect plan. It involved a Christmas party, a flamethrower, a gerbil, and a CD by a group called Toy-Box.

He was a nice boy; he had helped when he saw it fit to do so. He had gone out of his way to do things others had ignored. But because of his trouble making ways and an unhealthy obsession with fire, he was in a bit of a predicament.

Some believe that when you die you either go to Heaven or Hell. Those who are good will undoubtedly go to Heaven. Those who are bad will burn in the fiery pits of Hell forevermore. Some believe that there is a middle named Purgatory. Others believe such a thing doesn't exist. So if the middle doesn't exist, where would one go if they go to neither Heaven nor Hell?

Now, our not-good-nor-bad boy had just tripped out of his house (he really should put his shoes away) and hopped off his porch at precisely 11:36 a.m. He was supposed to meet a mullet-mohawk boy at precisely 11:57 a.m. (because round numbers were over-rated) at some café with a mouse head as its emblem. He was a bit late, for the walk took about 32 minutes and 23 seconds. He had timed himself once.

He had either two options: Walk and endure a hissy fit that would probably last longer than he'd like from his mullet friend, or he could sprint and hope he would make it.

He had gone with the latter.

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Hollow Bastion was a bustling city full of fast paced inhabitants. No one had much time to look around; everyone was rather busy with their own lives. So no one took notice of a small girl running out on to the busy streets yelling, "Ms. Foofoo! Where are you going?" Ms. Foofoo, who was a stuffed rabbit in a bright yellow floral dress, had tumbled out into the streets, jerking farther away as each car passed by.

It was at this moment that our main boy had turned a corner and noticed the small girl running out. It didn't take long for the scene to register, and soon his long legs had moved on its own accord towards the little girl.

The scene felt like it was playing in slow motion. Yet, it had happened so fast no one could really fully explain what happened.

Most people had said something about a red blob zooming past them, jumping onto the streets, and pushing a girl to the sidewalk. The next thing they know it there was a loud bang and a lanky, tall boy with wild red hair had flown about 8 feet back.

Not too far away, a blond mullet head wondered why his friend was so late; it was precisely 11:58 a.m.

His head hurt. His head hurt like hell.

He let out an overly loud moan, trying to wait for his monstrous headache to subside a little.

There was a small gasp, followed by a sugary voice stating, "Oh my gosh! Look, he's up!" Someone grunted in response.

He heard footsteps pattering nearby; the person was getting closer. Then, the footsteps stopped. A few seconds later, he felt someone poke his head rather harshly.

He let out another moan. Without thinking much of it, he opened his eyes quickly, ready to give the attacker a beating. He yelped at the sudden bright light that greeted him.

Why was the room so damn bright? After rubbing his eyes and waiting for them to adjust, he got up and looked around.

It looked like… a receptionist room. Except, it didn't have all those old magazines scattered across a table. And it was white, very white.

He then noticed two people looking at him. Well, one was glaring and chewing on a toothpick.

The first person, who he assumed to be the attacker, was a short, hyper looking girl. She had short black hair with a black headband, and had happy brown eyes. She also seemed to like to show her stomach and legs.

The second person was a gruffy looking man who had short blond hair and wore goggles. It also looked like he wasn't much of a smiler. His feet were propped up on a desk in front of him. Next to him were a computer (which was also white) and a pile of discarded, chewed toothpicks.

"Yer Axel, right?" The gruffy man said, looking at the confused, and semi blind red head standing in front of him.

Axel would have usually thought of some smart alec come back, but due to the circumstances (him being confused and his head still throbbing up a storm), he had just gave a slow nod. The grumpy man grunted again. He brought his feet back, turned around and sifted through a bunch of files below the desk.

The short haired girl suddenly appeared in front of him and gave him a bright smile.

"Hi! I'm Yuffie!" She said, offering a hand to Axel, who took it reluctantly. "Mr. Grumpy over there is Cid. He's not _that_ bad once you get to know him, but he's not very social. You see this one time…"

Axel chose to tune her out. He really did have to sort out his problem, which was, where the hell was he? The last thing he remembered was running to get to Demyx on time and something about a small girl and a large bang.

Oh god, Demyx. He was so going to kill him for being late.

"Hey! You aren't even listening to me!" Yuffie huffed, breaking Axel out of his train of thought.

"Yeah, that's great. Listen, I really have to go. I'm late meeting my friend and I-" Axel started.

"Oh! Oh no! We didn't tell you!" Yuffie gasped.

Axel gave her a questioning look. "Tell me what?"

"Well….Uh… You see… You…Uh…"

"Yer dead kid." Cid interjected.

"Cid!" Yuffie exclaimed. "You aren't supposed to be so blunt about it!"

"No use beatin' aroun' the bush, kid." He discarded his toothpick, placing it among the pile. He pushed out of his chair and walked over to Axel, who was staring blankly at him. "Look, here's yer file. Whatcha gotta do is go through those doors back there. You'll get to this huge room an' you'll see some guy standin' behin' some desk. Just give 'im this file and tell 'im yer name. Got it?" Cid handed him the files.

Axel blinked stupidly at him.

"Yer a smart one aren't ya?" Cid scoffed. He grabbed Axel by the collar and led him to the doors. "Hurry up ya punk." He gave Axel a swift kick out the door.

Axel blinked at the closed doors….What the hell is happening?

And there's the prologue! Please review! And no flames please.

Thanks for reading!


	2. I'm What?

This will be shonen-ai. If you don't like that, there's a nifty little button on the top with an arrow pointing left. You should click it.

Aww, you guys are lovely. :3

Nocturnal Equine: Oh my gosh! I haven't watched Yu Yu Hakusho in the longest time. I remember watching it on Cartoon Network when it was out… then I realized that English voice-overs kind of suck. I just realized that this story is kind of like that in the beginning (oh no!).

Sasunaru-rikusora-akuroku: I like your name. D I know, I killed Axel, I'm horrible. But do not worry! All will be well!... later.

The first thing that came to mind (after he had been so kindly kicked out, of course) was that maybe he was in some twisted version of 'A Christmas Carol.' Maybe three ghosts will pop out of no where and try to change his way, then he will turn into some huggy weirdo that will give money out freely.

But that Scrooge guy was in his room when they visited him. And wasn't that guy greedy? It also wasn't Christmas…How did 'A Christmas Carol' apply to his situation?

Axel never really did pay attention to what he watched.

Whatever, his head still hurt. He looked down to the file that was given to him by that grouchy blond guy. What did that guy say again? He was dead?

Dead?

Well that didn't make any sense at all. No, he wasn't dead. He was supposed to meet Demyx (which he was horribly late to) and they were supposed to go to the fair, where they were going to run around like maniacs and see what they could get away with before getting kicked out.

Axel couldn't do any of this if he was sitting on the floor staring at the closed doors.

He got up slowly, brushed himself off, and was about to open the doors again when a voice had said, "Hey you."

Axel stopped. Seriously. He didn't want to meet more people. He turned around and placed an annoyed look on his face.

A brunet man with a scar going across his face was tapping his fingers on a countertop that had neat little piles stacked upon it. The room was completely plain. Like the room before it was white, and just white. There was nothing but the counter, the man behind it, and two doors (one in back of him and one in back of the irritated man).

"What?" Axel asked in a biting tone.

The brunet man glared at him. "Don't give me attitude, kid. Get your scrawny butt over here and give me your file."

Why was everyone calling him a kid?! Did he look like a kid? He was 19 dammit. He was an adult! Or an adolescent. Though, once he thought about it, it did sound weird if someone said "hey adult" or "damn adolescent." But that was beside the point. He was sick of being called a kid (granted it was only two people and his mom who had called him that).

"You know, I really don't feel like walking over there. Why don't _you_ come _here_? You have legs as well, right?" Axel said leaning against the doors behind him.

The brunet stared at him for a bit. He gave a slightly thoughtful look before bending down. Axel smirked. Maybe the guy was going to crawl over to him. When the man had gotten back up, it seemed he had miraculously produced a giant sword, which was pointed directly at _him_.

"Now what did you say?" The brunet man sneered. Axel gulped. He slowly got off of the door and shuffled closer to the psychotic man. "That's what I thought. Now give me your file."

Axel flung the file at him as the brunet was putting the giant sword down. Axel grinned slightly apologetic when the brunet gave him a warning glare. The man looked down at the file and slowly thumbed through the pages, his facial features never changing.

Axel looked around, bored. He glanced at the man in front of him. His hair was a medium length and he was wearing a black t shirt with a leather jacket over it. He couldn't see his pants, which he surmised was leather too. On his chest was a white label with bold lettering saying "Leon" in girly writing and a smiley face at the end. Axel coughed.

"So, ah, Leon is it?" Axel started. Leon looked up at him and arched an eye brow before going back to looking through the file again. Axel's eye twitched, he ignored it. "Where exactly am I? I mean, that hyper girl and grumpy blond guy said I was dead. But they can't be serious, because I don't feel dead and I'm pretty sure I don't _look_ dead, so I―"

"Will you shut up?" Leon slammed the files on the counter. "Yes, in fact, you _are _dead. Deal with it."

"What?! You're _kidding_. Tell me you're kidding!" Axel screeched slamming his fists in front of Leon.

"Does it look like I kid?" Leon asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Well, you could be one of those sadistic bastards who enjoy toying with innocent minds like mine!" Axel wailed.

"….Innocent? Really?" Leon turned a few pages in the file, before stopping to one in particular. "It says here that you set the chemistry room in 10th grade on fire, not once, but three times." He turned another page. "And here it says that you would tell your friend that if he stays in the water for longer than 40 minutes he will get herpes. This one says―"

"How the hell did you get that?!" Axel interrupted, attempting to yank the papers away from Leon. Leon swiftly put the papers out of reach, smirking as Axel toppled over his desk.

"That is none of your business. And if you are quite done. Let me explain why you are here. If you still haven't gotten it through your thick skull, I'll say it again. _You're dead_. Now, when you die you either go to Heaven or Hell, right?" Axel gave him a blank stare. "…Right. Well, you are a special case. We've been watching you for some time now, and we really couldn't decide where to place you. So it came to a surprise to us when you showed up here. You were supposed to die in five years in a fire." Leon straightened his papers.

Axel felt his jaw slack. "…So you're telling me I wasn't supposed to die?"

"Precisely." Leon said as he leaned against the counter.

"Then can't you do something about it? Like put me back in my body… or… or something?!"

Leon shook his head. "Of course not. It's not my job. My job is to place you with the right supervisor, I guess you could say."

"…Supervisor? What the hell are you talking about?"

Leon circled the counter and stopped beside Axel. He gave Axel a swift slap on the back of his head. "Stop swearing." Axel rubbed the back of his head as Leon went back behind his counter. The brunet opened the door in back of him. He stuck his head in the opening, giving small nods every now and then. He turned around to face Axel.

"As I was saying before. We couldn't decide where to place you. It will take some time before the decision takes place, so in the mean time we decided that you will be a guardian." Leon stated, turning back around to talk to who ever was in the other room.

"A guardian? Are you serious? Do I _look_ guardian material to you?" Axel asked stunned.

"No, you don't. But that wasn't my choice." Leon gave another nod to the person in the other room. "I would like to present to you your supervisor. She will make sure that you are doing an adequate job and aren't traumatizing the assigned kid."

Leon stepped out of the way as a pretty blonde girl walked out of the room. She wore a simple white dress and held a sketch book to her left side. She smiled sweetly up at him, sticking out her right hand for him to shake.

"Hi, my name is Naminé. You must be Axel, yes?" She offered, tilting her head to the side in a cute manner. Axel blinked.

"Uh…yeah." Axel supplied. He didn't have the heart (did he even have a heart, considering his dead and all?) to say anything threatening to her, she looked too sweet. He placed his hand in hers and shook it lightly.

"Great! Then let's get started!" She grabbed his hand and led him to the door she had just gotten out of. Leon smirked and gave him a small wave. It also looked like he had mouthed 'good luck' before the doors shut.

The room was completely dark. He could hear the faint humming made by the short blond girl in front of him. He couldn't recognize the tune. Naminé gently let his hand go and gave two short claps. Instantly, the room was lit up with a blinding white light. His hands flew up to shield his eyes as he let out a loud yelp.

"Jesus! Would you people at least warn me before you burn my eyes out?!" Axel yelled, rubbing his eyes out furiously.

The blonde girl clicked her tongue. "The claps were the warning. I thought you humans had the lights that turned on when you clap." She said as she shuffled to the other side of the room.

"Well, yes. But the majority of us still use the light switch. Do you know how irritating the clappers are?" Axel stated while glancing around the room.

Naminé shrugged. She put down her sketch book on a nearby desk (when did that get there?) and motioned for Axel to come. He raised a brow, but walked over to her anyway.

In front of Naminé was a plain white basin filled with, what looked to be, water. Axel shot her a questioning look, which she answered with a sweet smile.

"Now then. Let's get down to business. Leon explained everything, yes?" She asked, dipping a finger into the basin.

"I guess… I mean that guy has a huge stick up his ass, I swear." He received a slap on his head, for the second time, along with a 'stop swearing.' Then he continued. "Geeze that hurt. Did you know you hit hard?" A glare made from the opposing end. "Uh, right, sorry. He told me some sh― stuff about being a guardian, blah, blah, blah."

Naminé beamed. "Yes, that's correct. Now about th―"

"What?! I thought he wasn't serious! You guys are seriously making me a guardian?! I couldn't even handle taking care of my goldfish, who, by the way, committed suicide three days after I got it." This was quite true. Axel had received a fish from Demyx on his 13th birthday, whom he had dubbed to be Fish. (Demyx wasn't too creative in the name department.) Not long after receiving Fish, Axel had found it lying motionless on the ground after coming home one day. Demyx had cried and they had set up a proper funeral for Fish. But they had to call the plumber not long after because Demyx had forgotten to remove the fish from the plastic bag.

"I really don't think that I would be good for the job." Axel finished, giving Naminé a pleading look.

She glared at him for interrupting her. "I'm sorry, but you have no choice. Don't worry, you'll do a fine job, I know it." She took out a small vile of a pink liquid substance. "As I was saying before. Your job is to watch over who ever I assign you, ok? I don't want to hear any complaints about that. I'm here just to assist you if you ever need help or have questions."

She plucked the cap off of the vile and poured its contents into the basin. She lowered her face to the bowl, and let out a slow breath of air towards the water. The contents swirled, slowly forming a picture.

Axel squinted. The picture was still a bit blurry, but there was definitely a big mass of yellow. It looked like… a chocobo butt. Why was there a chocobo butt?

"This is the kid you're going to watch over. His name is Roxas." Naminé said as she too watched the picture form.

That wasn't a kid. Naminé was lying. It clearly was a chocobo butt. Maybe she was just blind, it could seriously happen if she had to look at these white walls all the time.

The fuzziness of the picture began to leave, which led Axel to really see that it was not the rear of a giant bird. It was a mass of blond hair. A mass of spiky-sticks-up-on-one-side, blond hair. It was easy to mistake that for a butt of an oversized bird.

Currently this Roxas kid was sitting in his room with a pair of giant headphones on. He was bobbing his head up and down, quietly singing to the music pounding in his ears. His eyes were closed and his hands were folded in the back of his head. His body was stretched out on his bed, a sheet covering part of his left leg as the other was propped up.

Axel looked at Naminé. "So… what am I supposed to do?"

She hummed. "For now we just want you to watch him. Report what he does during the day, not including what he eats and minor details of course, to me."

"…That's it? That's all you want me to do?" Axel asked grumpily.

"Just for now. I'm thinking it'll be for about a week." Namine replied, looking up at Axel.

"What's the point of that? What can you do with that kind of information?"

She sighed. "Please don't ask. Just do, ok?"

"So I just float around and _watch _him? Can he even see me?"

Namine thought for a bit. "I suppose he can't. He might be able to though. I wouldn't worry about it." She looked back down at the basin. Roxas was still in the same position, his feet rocking slightly at the beat of the song.

She looked back up at Axel. "Are you ready now? Do you have anymore questions before you go?"

Axel tapped his chin and shrugged. "I guess not. It's not like the job is that exciting."

Namine smiled. "Great. Follow me." She blew in the basin again, the picture slowly disappearing. She smoothed her skirt out and walked over to a corner of the room. Axel followed silently.

"Ok, stand right here." She lightly grabbed Axel's shoulders and led him in front of her.

He quirked a brow at her. "What are you―?"

She hushed him. "Stay still, please." She studied him for a bit, before she stood on her toes to reach his face. She traced an upside-down triangle with her finger beneath both his eyes, and lightly tapped them. "If you need me, all you have to do is call my name, k?" She kissed her fingers and pressed them to Axel's forehead.

"Good luck." She said, smiling as he blanked out.

Yay! Second chapter! Roxas will show up more in the next chapter, I promise. Hopefully it'll be more exciting too.

Please review. And no flames please.


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